Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
