I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
