...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
