I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
