ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
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