My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
