he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
