Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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