Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize