Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
