I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
