so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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