I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
