think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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