Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
