I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
