how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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