Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
