you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize