Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
