Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
