I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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