You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize