I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
