my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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