Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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