This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
