Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
