i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How does one acquire holy water?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize