Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
