Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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