The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
