Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
