I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize