no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
