Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
