this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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