How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
