Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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