i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it's like heaven, but drunker
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
