all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
