4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize