I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
