How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
