I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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