I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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