We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
