So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
