So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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