I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
