Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
