I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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