what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
