He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
