Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
