your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize