Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
