Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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