I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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