They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
