every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
