OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
