i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm just crazy horny about you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
