Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
