I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
