We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
