Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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