apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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