My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
