I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
