we have pet lesbian snakes
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
