What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
