just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
