I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize