I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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