wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
