She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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