I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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