I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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