i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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